


Focus On My Voice

by charmingoutlaws (twdsunshine)



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 14:03:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/charmingoutlaws
Summary: When the reader’s car breaks down just outside of Charming, she ends up getting caught up in a rival gang’s beef with the MC with shocking consequences.  But can something good come out of her worst nightmare?





	Focus On My Voice

**Author's Note:**

> This was an anonymous request sent in a couple of weeks ago on Tumblr. Feedback always appreciated, as ever.
> 
> ‘Could I ask for something a little angst; but with a possible happier ending? Reader is shy accountant passing thru on way to new job on CA coast. Car breaks down, calls TM for tow, and Juice comes. While he’s hooking up her car, another group w bad intentions stops, threatens them both, makes Juicy have his way w Reader or the entire bad group does. Just to show who has the power. Then they let them live, and they try to bond over the shared bad experience?’

You couldn’t stop shaking.  A sense of dread had pervaded every single cell of your body and you channelled all of your focus into stilling the persistent trembling of your hands, letting the gruff voices fade into the background.  Nothing they were saying meant anything to you.  This wasn’t your life.  This wasn’t even your town.  How the hell had you ended up in this position?  Your back pressed against the side of your car, the heat of the metal in the midday sun uncomfortably warm through your blouse, sending beads of sweat trickling over your skin; a stranger at your side, a mechanic in baggy grey overalls with narrowed eyes and tribal tattoos either side of his skull; and a gang of heavily inked white men surrounding you, with deadly looking rifles pointed at your chest.

The heart-stopping crack of a bullet shooting into the air dragged your attention away from your fingers, which continued to quiver with fear, and the man at your side inched closer as though preparing to throw himself in front of you should the need arise.

‘I told you, man, I can’t just hand over a chunk of the gun business.  It isn’t my call.  If you let us walk out of here alive, I can take it to Clay.  It’s a club decision.’

‘Bullshit!’  The leader of the group that threatened you roared, spittle flying from his lips as he stepped closer, his finger hovering over the trigger.  ‘You think you’re getting away that easy?  I’m not letting you walk away until I have assurances.’

‘I told you, I can’t do that.’  As though feeling you trying to shrink into yourself, make yourself invisible, your fellow captive stepped forward spreading his arms wide.  ‘Shoot me if that’s what you need to do, but that means I don’t get a message back to the club, which means you don’t have a chance of getting in on guns.  You need me alive and you know it.’

‘What about your friend?’  Suddenly, all of the attention was on you and you couldn’t fight the whimper that fell from your lips.  ‘Surely she can pass on a message, huh?’

The mechanic risked a glance back at you, his mouth drawn into a grim line.  ‘Nah, man.  She’s nothing to do with us.  I’m just here to tow her car.’

‘Is that right?’  A mean sneer crossed your captor’s face.  ‘You won’t care if I do this then?’

He brought the gun up fast as though to shoot and you shrieked in terror, but the mechanic had already moved in front of  you, his body tense as he blocked you from the shooter’s sight.  ‘No!’

A cruel laugh sounded and you cringed behind your human armour.  ‘That’s what I thought.’  You heard the thud of footsteps moving closer and saw the bearded face peering at you over your protector’s shoulder, his eyes roaming over your suit-clad body appraisingly.  ‘Okay, boys, new game.’

Reaching past the mechanic, his fingers wrapped around your wrist, tugging you out into the centre of the group of men and spinning you round to pull you against his chest.  Meaty fingers smoothed down your stomach, taunting you, and you could see amused eyes wherever you looked, heavy with lust.  Squeezing your own eyes shut, you turned your head away, but the hand on your wrist moved to grasp your chin, forcing you to look at your tormentors.  A sharp jolt thrust you forward onto your knees and there were shouts as a tussle broke out behind you, before your fellow captive was forced to the ground at your side, blood spilling from a large gash that now split his brow.

‘Shit, seems like someone’s getting jealous.’  The leader of the group was talking again as he circled you and you shuddered when the cool metal of his rifle brushed against your shoulder.  ‘On your feet, lady.  Let’s go.’  You stood reluctantly, pausing to brush the dirt from your grazed knees before you were shoved roughly towards your stranded car.  ‘On the hood, baby.  Jump on up there and give us all a good view.’  You turned to look at him, your jaw dropping open in disbelief, but his face was determined, the leer that twisted his lips disturbing.  ‘I’m not gonna ask again.’

You did as instructed, hitching yourself up on the smooth hood of your saloon car and inching backwards until your feet left the floor.

The mechanic was watching your movements with desperation writ over his features, but now he too was hauled to his feet and pushed in your direction.  ‘Get to it.’

‘What?’  He spat the question in disgust, but you already knew what they meant. You could see it in the shiver of excitement that spread through the group, as the men shuffled closer, eager to get a good position.

‘You heard me.’  The man in charge raised his rifle again, asserting his authority as he issued the impossible order.  ‘You fuck her, or we’ll all have a go.’

 

* * *

 

Never in your worst nightmares had you pictured yourself in this position, faced with a stranger who was eyeing you with fear and resignation as he shrugged off his overalls and stepped between your knees, forcing them apart as he cupped your cheek in his hand.  His touch was gentle as he lowered his face to yours, brushing a soft kiss over your lips.  He could feel the tension emanating through your body, the resistance as his mouth moved against yours, and you heard him growl low in the back of his throat.

‘I’m sorry you got caught up in this.  You know I don’t have a choice here, don’t you?’  You gave a nod, almost imperceptible except to him as his forehead leant against yours.  ‘If I let them do it, they’ll hurt you.  I won’t let them hurt you.’

‘Hurry it up, folks!  This isn’t a damn teen movie!’

The mechanic’s hands slipped to your chest, working on the buttons of your blouse, though he continued to whisper to you as he slipped it from your shoulders.  ‘I’m Juice.  What’s your name?’

‘Y/N.’

‘You from around here, Y/N?’

‘No.’  Your voice wavered as you heard a small cheer erupt from the onlookers as your lace bra was exposed and he met your eyes, holding you steady as his fingers grazed your thighs, hitching your skirt up slowly.

‘Don’t think about it.  Just talk to me, okay?  Focus on my voice.’

You tried again.  ‘No, I’m just passing through.  On my way to start a new job on the coast.’

‘What do you do?’

‘I’m an accountant.’

‘Yeah?  I own a small business in town.  Maybe you could look over our books sometime?’

‘I don’t think you can afford me.’  You attempted a joke, trying to make the conversation feel more normal, but the words caught in your throat as calloused thumbs hooked into your underwear and tugged it swiftly down your legs.

‘You’re probably right.’  He leant down to press more sloppy kisses over your throat, trailing his lips up to your ear.  ‘Look, I’m gonna try and make this quick, okay?  But I don’t want it to hurt.’

‘It’s okay,’ you reassured him, squeezing your eyes shut and reaching for his arms, your nails biting in to his skin as the muscles flexed beneath your fingers.  ‘Just do it, please.’

You heard the chink of his belt as he fumbled with the buckle and then he was dragging you towards him, burying his face in your hair.  ‘You ready?’

He kept talking to you, his voice strained as he did what he needed to do, apologising over and over when you whined in pain.  It didn’t matter what he did, you were never going to be ready for this, never going to be able to accommodate him easily under the wandering eyes of your captors.  You just needed it to be over.

‘I’m gonna look after you when this is over, I promise.  I’ll take you back with me and we’ll get you cleaned up, give you somewhere to stay for the night.  And the club will make these guys pay.  They won’t get away with this.’

You tuned out his words, his touch, the rhythm of his movements.  Instead, you focused on the soft hum of his voice and let everything else fall away.

Afterwards, you were too drained to move, the throb between your thighs too painful, and you couldn’t concentrate on what the burly white bastards were saying.  You were vaguely aware of their trucks pulling away and then Juice was gathering you up in his arms and carrying you to the cab of his tow truck where he deposited you gently on the long bench seat.

‘It’s gonna be okay, I promise, Y/N.  I’m gonna make this okay.’

 

* * *

 

The sun was streaming through the windows of your rented apartment, bathing the room in a golden glow as you stretched, inhaling deeply as the scent of freshly brewed coffee woke your senses.  Your body felt tired, exhausted, your brain heavy in your head, but you were determined to hold on to the optimism of your fresh start.  You wouldn’t let the thugs back in Charming steal that away from you.  So, what if you weren’t sleeping?  So, what if you could still feel a stranger’s hands roaming over you, unwanted and unbidden?  You had a new job and a new home, and that was a good thing.  It was.  You could do this.

Contrary to Juice’s concerned pleas, you hadn’t stuck around at Teller-Morrow, the garage that he’d eventually towed your car back to on that awful day a week ago.  Instead, you’d made alternative arrangements, dragging your aching body onto a coach and continuing onwards, desperate to get out of town and away from the man whose touch made you cringe.  You knew it wasn’t his fault, knew he’d been saving you from a worse fate, but that didn’t make him any easier to face.  A part of you hated him, blamed him even though he’d had no choice, and you’d needed to get away.  The lady at the garage had kindly offered to have your car sent over to you once the work was done, so there had really been no reason to stay.  In all honesty, you’d thought you’d probably end up selling it anyway.  It held too many bad memories now.

As though you’d summoned it by thinking about it, the buzzer to your apartment went off and a knot formed in your stomach when you answered it to hear a familiar voice.

‘Hey, Y/N?  It’s Juice from TM.  I’ve got your car.’

For a moment you considered ignoring him, hoping that he’d leave your car and post your keys through the main mailbox, but you knew that was cruel.  It wasn’t his fault.  None of it had been down to him.

‘Sure.  Come on up.’

You twisted your hands together as you waited for him to climb the stairs, finally leaving the door on the latch and pacing into the kitchen to pour the coffee, anything to be busy, to be distracted.

A quiet knock sounded as you were adding milk to your drink and you called for Juice to come in, avoiding turning to face him for as long as possible.  ‘You want a coffee?’

‘That’d be great, thanks.’

You busied yourself preparing another mug of the steaming liquid, asking if he wanted milk or sugar, still refusing to meet his eyes, when his hand grazed over your side, causing you to lurch away from him.

‘Oh, woah, okay.  I didn’t mean to scare you.’

‘No, it’s okay.’

You steadied yourself against the countertop before spinning to face him, trying to keep your expression neutral.  You could see the worry and regret behind his gaze and you swallowed hard as he took a slow step towards you.  ‘So, how’re you doing?  Gem was gonna send one of the other guys down here but I wanted to see you, check in, y’know.’

‘I’m good,’ you lied, running your hand through your hair and pasting a smile onto your face.  ‘New job’s good, new place is good.  It’s all good.’

‘Okay.’  He waited for you to go on, nodding when you didn’t as though he knew you were forcing your optimism for his benefit as well as your own.  ‘Well, I think I might stick around for a while before heading back, enjoy the beach.  I’ll be down by the pier if you want to talk or…’  He tailed off, backing away and reaching into his pocket for your keys which he left on the small table by the door.  ‘I guess I’ll see you around.’

It was only as the door clicked shut behind him that you realised he hadn’t even touched his coffee.

 

* * *

 

You didn’t feel guilty.  At least that’s what you told yourself.  You had nothing to feel bad about.  So, you were a little cold with the guy, sure.  He’d raped you.  It wasn’t an unreasonable reaction.  So, yeah, he hadn’t had a choice.  You’d literally both had guns held to your heads and he’d have been outnumbered 10:1 if he’d tried to fight his way out of it.  That wasn’t an excuse.  He should feel bad.

Except, even as you repeated those thoughts in your head like a mantra, you could see his slumped shoulders as he took in your fake smile, could hear the pain in his voice as he’d bid you goodbye.  It was killing him, what he’d done, what he’d had to do.  It was hurting him to live with it just as it was hurting you and he didn’t deserve that.  If anything, he’d saved your life.  You guessed you kinda owed him for that.

The sun was starting to dip towards the sea as you left your apartment and headed down towards the sand, feeling it shift beneath your toes as you slipped off your sandals.  You worried that you may be too late and quickened your pace until you were running along the beach, darting between small groups that were camped out on the shore, gathered around barbecues or stretched out absorbing the last of the day’s heat.  The pier was in sight and your pulse quickened as you recognised the figure sitting beneath the wooden boards, his knees drawn up to his chest as he watched the tide go out, the waves rolling towards the vastness of the deep.  You were panting hard when you finally drew close to him, dropping down onto the sand at his side, trying to cover your grimace as your arm brushed his.

‘I’m sorry.’  He turned to look at you as you spoke and you saw the warmth in his dark eyes as he waited for you to catch your breath.  ‘I’m sorry if I was weird before.  This whole thing is weird.  I don’t know how I’m supposed to get past this.’

‘It’s okay, I get it.’

‘Your world, it’s dark, Juice.  I mean, it’s really dark and I don’t know how to-‘

‘That isn’t my world,’ he interrupted sharply, before sighing.  ‘Or maybe it is.  I don’t know.  It’s the club, Y/N, it gets a little crazy.  You know, they’re in to some shady stuff and it means mixing with some bad people.’

‘So, why stick around?’

He shrugged.  ‘They’re my family.’

He sounded so dejected as he said it, as though he knew there was no possible way that you would understand and yet, strangely, you did.  ‘I don’t have family.’

‘No one?’

‘Nope.  It’s just me.’

‘So, you’ve been all on your own with this?’

You nodded.  ‘I’ve been trying to just keep going like it’ll get easier if I don’t think about it, but it hasn’t yet.’

‘You should’ve stayed at TM.  I would have helped you through it-‘

‘I couldn’t, Juice.  I was terrified.  Besides, I don’t even know you.’

‘I know.  I feel like I know you, though.  I was ready to take a bullet for you.  I just never imagined that they’d ask me to-  Man, what a mess.’  You couldn’t help but agree and when he lifted his hand to cup your face you made yourself hold his gaze, revelling in the warmth of his touch instead of falling back into horrific memories.  ‘You look tired.’

‘So do you.’

‘Haven’t been sleeping much.’

‘Me neither.’

‘I figured.’  He gestured back along the beach, in the direction of your apartment. ‘You staying there alone?’

‘Yep.  Just me.’

‘Shit.  I’m sorry, Y/N.’

‘It’s not your fault, Juice.’  It felt good to say the words aloud, even better to realise that you meant them.  ‘I owe you my life.  It could have been so much worse if you hadn’t-  It would have been worse if you didn’t do what you did, I know that.’

‘I tried not to hurt you.’

‘I know.’

‘I thought if I just kept talking, it would help…  I don’t know, distract you or something.’

‘It did.  Your voice is the only thing that kept me from completely falling apart.’

A cool breeze whipped under the pier as the sun finally disappeared into the water, casting the world into gloom as the evening drew in, and you heard him inhale sharply before reaching out to wrap an arm around your shoulders, tentative at first, before tightening his hold when you didn’t pull away.  ‘Stupid thing is, I feel kinda protective over you know.  Like, I wanna make sure that you’re okay.’

‘I will be.  You don’t have to be responsible for me.’

‘What if I want to be?’

‘You don’t even know me, Juice,’ you scoffed, though you could see the genuine affection in his gaze as he smiled at you.

‘I know you’re strong.  I know that you care, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting here.’

‘It’s not enough,’ you insisted.  ‘We’re strangers, really.’

‘But-’

‘I can’t, okay?  I’m sorry, it’s just too soon.’

You knew you’d hurt him when his arm slipped from your shoulders and you took a deep breath, fighting back the impulse to stand and walk away.  Because, deep down, you knew there was something about this man.  Despite what you’d been through, what he’d had to do to you, he made you feel safe now that you’d let yourself relax in your company, and something told you that maybe you had more in common than you’d even discovered yet.  Besides, before the assholes in the trucks had turned up, you’d caught yourself checking out the mechanic with the crooked smile and the goofy faux-hawk.  You knew cutting ties completely was something you’d live to regret just as surely as you knew that you couldn’t get close to him until you’d dealt with your demons and eradicated the memory of him looming over you.

‘Hey.’  You nudged him with your elbow as he stared off into the distance, dragging his attention back to you as you gave him a small grin.  ‘You said you might need an accountant to look over your books, right?’

‘Yeah, that’s right.’

‘Well, I mean, it’ll probably take me a little while to get settled here and find my feet in the new job or whatever.  But maybe, once I’m up and running, I could swing by Charming one weekend and look you up, run some numbers.’

‘Yeah.’  He was nodding, his expression hopeful again as he reached into his wallet and pulled out a card.  ‘Here.  Give me a call, okay?  When you’re ready.’

It felt like the right time to go, so you levered yourself to your feet and tucked the card into your pocket.  ‘I will.  See you around, Juice.’

‘Wait!’  When you turned back to him, he was standing, a cheeky grin stretching from ear to ear.  ‘Thought you said I couldn’t afford you.’

‘Oh, I’m sure we can work something out.’


End file.
